Meditaciones de Fe - Manejo de la Angustia (Parte Final) - La Vida del "Independientemente"

English version.

 

Nota: Esta reflexión fue escrita para el blog de la Iglesia AMEC: Casa de Alabanza. Blog AMEC - Manejo de la Angustia (Parte Final).





Estábamos de camino a la cita con la oncóloga para los resultados de la biopsia del hígado y del nódulo.

-"¿Tienes miedo?", me preguntó mi esposo Fernan
-"No, pero estoy ansiosa porque ya quiero saber", contesté.
-"Independientemente de lo que digan hoy, vamos a creer en lo que Dios ha dicho", respondió él.

En efecto las pruebas confirmaron que el cáncer se había extendido al nódulo y al hígado. El 17 de marzo del 2015 confirmaron que tengo "metastatic breast cancer". Soy del grupo poco común que es "Stage IV" desde el diagnóstico inicial. Quiero aclarar que los doctores dicen que mi condición no es considerada como curable, pero sí tratable. En otras palabras, no estoy en una etapa terminal. Actualmente, muchas mujeres viven con cáncer de seno con metástasis por años como una enfermedad crónica. De modo que la meta del tratamiento es controlar el progreso de la condición y en el mejor de los casos, la remisión. (Esto es extrictamente el cuadro médico)


Este es parte del mensaje de texto que le enviamos a nuestra familia ese día cuando salimos de la cita.
 

 

¿Por qué un cáncer? Porque somos humanos y estamos en un mundo caído y afectado por el pecado. De este lado de la eternidad vamos a experimentar enfermedades, pérdidas y aflicciones. Eso advierte la Palabra del Señor en múltiples ocasiones.

La diferencia es la palabra que usó Fernan, "independientemente". Nosotros vivimos, creemos, adoramos, y caminamos independientemente de las circunstancias, la lógica, los diagnósticos y los pronósticos. No es negación, no es confianza en nosotros mismos, no es positivismo. Eso es el evangelio. Por ejemplo,

• Amar y bendecir independientemente del mal recibido (Mateo 5:44)
• Hallar la vida independientemente de perderla por causa de Cristo y el evangelio (Marcos 8:35)
• Ver la gloria de Dios independientemente de un pronóstico de muerte (Juan 11:4)

Pero la vida del "independientemente" no se origina ni se perpetúa por nosotros. Mi humanidad quiere vivir y actuar de acuerdo a lo que veo y lo que siento. Y así es todos los días. La vida del "independientemente" sólo es posible porque en Jesús se cumplió la profecía de Isaías. El vino a:

"a ordenar que a los afligidos de Sion se les dé gloria en lugar de ceniza, óleo de gozo en lugar de luto, manto de alegría en lugar del espíritu angustiado; y serán llamados árboles de justicia, plantío del Señor, para gloria suya." (Isaias 61:3)

Sólo por su sacrificio nosotros podemos experimentar:
 

Gloria independientemente de la ceniza

 

Gozo independientemente del luto

 

Alegría independientemente de la angustia

 

Justicia independientemente de nuestra injusticia

La vida del "independientemente" es posible solamente por Jesús. Su sacrificio es  evidencia de que no somos árboles silvestres, somos plantíos del Señor, estamos aquí con un propósito que soñó Dios. Su obra completa y perfecta en la Cruz hace posible que podamos ser árboles de justicia que dan frutos de justicia. Y al final todo es para la gloria de Dios.

No sé exactamente el qué, cómo y cuándo de este cáncer. Pero mientras espero yo quiero vivir la vida del "independientemente"...

Con esta reflexión culminamos esta serie del manejo de la angustia. Gracias por acompañarme y por amarme con el amor de Cristo. Les dejo con uno de mis versos favoritos de esta temporada: "BUENO es el Señor, una FORTALEZA en el día de la angustia, y CONOCE a los que en El se refugian." (Nahum 1:7)


#ZonaDeMilagros #LouderAndStronger #TienesUnPlan

All rights reserved. Rebecca Parrilla, April/2015.

Translation - The Life of the "Regardless"

We were on our way to the appointment with the oncologist to discuss the results of my biopsies (liver and lymph nodes).

- "Are you afraid?" asked my husband Fernan

- "No, but I'm anxious because I wanna know already", I answered.

- "We will believe what the Lord has said regardless of today’s outcome" he replied.
 

The pathology report confirmed that the cancer had spread to my axillary node and the liver. On March 17, 2015, I was diagnosed with "metastatic breast cancer". I am part of a “not-that-common group” that is "Stage IV" since initial diagnosis. I want to clarify that according to the doctors, my condition is not curable, but it is treatable. In other words, I'm not in a terminal stage. Currently, many women live with metastatic breast cancer for years as a chronic disease. So the goal of the treatment is to control the progress of the condition and in the best scenario, achieving remission. (This is my reality according to the medical opinion.)



This is the text message we sent to our family that day: "I am officially getting in the "miracles zone". I have metastatic HER2 positive breast cancer"...it spread to my liver and the lymph node...we are okay..we are believing God regardless." 

Why cancer? Because we are human,  we live in a fallen world, and we are not exempt from the effects of sin. From this side of eternity we will experience illnesses, losses and sorrow. The Bible advises about this repeatedly. The difference is the word that Fernan used that day, "regardless". We live, believe, worship, and walk in this world regardless of the circumstances, the logic, a diagnosis or a prognosis. It's not denial, it is not trust in us, and it is not positivism. It is the gospel. For example,

• To love and to be a blessing regardless of being treated unfairly (Matthew 5:38-47)
• To save our live regardless losing it for Christ’s sake and the gospel (Mark 8:35)
• To see the glory of God regardless of death (John 11:4)

But the life of the "regardless" is not initiated by us nor continued by us. We always want to live and act according to what we see and what we feel, it is an ongoing battle. The life of the "regardless” is only possible because this prophecy was fulfilled by Jesus. He came to:

"…provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor." (Isaiah 61:3)

Only through His sacrifice we can experience:

Beauty regardless of the ashes

Joy regardless of the mourning

Praise regardless of the spirit of despair

Righteousness regardless of our unrighteousness

The life of the "regardless" is possible through Jesus. His sacrifice is evidence that we are not wild trees, we are the planting of the Lord. His finished work on the Cross makes us trees of righteousness. And at the end everything is for the glory of God.

I do not know exactly the what, the how and the when of this cancer. But while I’m waiting I want to live the life of the “regardless”...

This is the last reflection of this series of the management of distress. Thanks for joining me and loving me with the love of Christ. I leave you with one of my favorite verses from this season: "The LORD IS GOOD, a REFUGE in times of trouble. HE CARES for those who trust in him." (Nahum 1: 7, NIV)

 Becky

 

All rights reserved. Rebecca Parrilla, April/2015

 

Translation - And Along Came My Anger

I was looking at the photo gallery of my smart phone. Although I do frequent backups, there are some pictures that I just don’t like to delete. And I found photos of a few days before, a week before, a month before, two months before, etc. And for the first time since my diagnosis I was angry. I was angry because I wanted back "my life", "my smile", "my problems" (which now seemed much more bearable), and "my world". I wanted exactly what I had before the diagnosis. Moreover, that same day my dear son had two seizures in a period of 4 hours and recording the details in the seizure log was particularly painful. Then it came as a wave, it came that feeling…and along came my anger.

I've been reading two kinds of books during this season: books of testimonies and books of theology and doctrine. The first ones encourage my faith and the second ones keep me focused. These are excerpts of what I was reading that day:

1) From the book "An Honest Look at a Mysterious Journey" from John & Joanna Stumbo

It is possible to take our grief too far. I appreciated Job’s honesty: “I loathe my very life; therefore I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul” (10:1). Yet, I wondered, Doesn’t there have to be a limit somewhere? I can grieve my loss and vent my frustration, but where is the line that I should not cross? I found it plainly detailed in Job’s story, twice: “In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing” (1:22). “‘Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?’ In all this, Job did not sin in what he said” (2:10). Somehow, in the midst of my honest wrestling and angry emotion, I must learn from Job’s example and stop short of finding fault with God. He is good. He can be trusted . . . even when I don’t understand or appreciate what He is up to.


2) From the book "The Discipline of Grace" by Jerry Bridges

“To preach the gospel to yourself, then, means that you continually face up to your own sinfulness and then flee to Jesus through faith in His shed blood and righteous life.”  You can use the Scripture to preach the gospel to yourself. For example,

“Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord will never count against them” (Romans 4:7-8)

The first reading was obviously related to my feelings that day and it gave me a reason for prayer: "Lord, help me to find that limit. As Job did, I want to stop short of finding fault with you oh Lord”.  Well, this was assuming that it was not too late already.

But the second reading was the answer to this and all my dilemmas. I contemplated the Cross again and once again I concluded that there is no distress, anger, cancer or seizure that can beat the beauty of the Cross. I’m blessed as Romans 4 states because my transgressions are forgiven; my “going too far” moments are not count against me. All this is possible because Christ lived a perfect life in my place, and suffered the Cross (including my illness, loss and pain) without “going too far”, also on my behalf. Christ lived and suffered perfectly. So, although I’m human and imperfect, I can fully rest in Christ’s finished work. Even for those moments when I don’t know how to grieve, the Heavenly Father sees me through Christ and his perfect suffering.

There is hope for those who have taken their grief "too far". There is hope for those who are angry. There is hope for those who do not understand God’s plan. There is hope for those who do not like the process. There is hope for those who are wrestling. There is hope through Christ. There is hope because there is grace.

That night I had a good night’s sleep.

Becky

 

All rights reserved. Rebecca Parrilla April/2015