Meditaciones de Fe - Manejo de la Angustia (Parte 4) - El Toque de Su Diestra

English version.

Esta reflexión es acerca de mi cita para la biopsia del hígado. Fue un procedimiento guiado por ultrasonido y con sedación local. Ese día fue un poco agotador porque luego me colocaron el "port" por donde recibo las infusiones de quimioterapia.  

El Toque de Su Diestra

Era la mañana de la biopsia del hígado. Estaba en la camilla y entró el doctor a explicarme el procedimiento. También entró la enfermera que me acompañó toda esa mañana. Mientras el doctor desinfectaba el área de la intervención ella comenzó a tocar suave y rítmicamente mi brazo izquierdo con su dedo índice. Luego me dijo: "Esta primera parte puede ser la más molestosa pero no te asustes, mejor concéntrate en el toque de mi mano". Y eso hice.
 

"Si anduviere yo en medio de la angustia, tú me vivificarás; Contra la ira de mis enemigos extenderás tu mano, Y me salvará tu diestra." (Salmo 138:7)

Me encanta la seguridad del salmista. Para él, estar en angustia sólo significaba una cosa: la oportunidad de ser vivificado por el Señor. La palabra original para vivificar se refiere a sostener la vida; revivir o preservar la vida de una enfermedad, del desaliento, de lo que nos hace desfallecer, o hasta de la misma muerte. Luego el salmista hace referencia a la diestra del Señor. Y en la Palabra hay muchos versículos que se refieren a la diestra del Señor:

Salmo 18:35 – la diestra del Señor sostiene

“Tú me has dado también el escudo de tu salvación; tu diestra me sostiene, y tu benevolencia me engrandece”

Salmo 20:6 – la diestra del Señor tiene poder para salvar

“Ahora sé que el Señor salva a su ungido; le responderá desde su santo cielo, con la potencia salvadora de su diestra”

Salmo 118:15 – la diestra del Señor es hábil y eficiente

“…la diestra del Señor hace proezas”

Salmo 118:16 – la diestra del Señor es sublime

Y lo que tenemos que recordar es que a la diestra del Señor está Jesús. El, siendo Dios, se humilló hasta lo sumo para salvarnos. Pero luego de su victoria en la Cruz también fue exaltado hasta lo sumo y ahora tiene todo poder y autoridad. ¿Qué hace Jesús a la diestra de Dios?
1. Intercede por nosotros. El no está desinteresado de nuestros asuntos. Es nuestro abogado, el que habla a nuestro favor. (Romanos 8:34, 1Juan 2:1)
2. Reina sobre todo principado y potestad. Todo lo creado está sujeto a su autoridad y dominio (Efesios 1:20-22)
3. Sustenta todas las cosas con su palabra poderosa. (Hebreos 1:3)
Todo lo que dice el Antiguo Testamento de la diestra del Señor lo podemos decir de Jesús. El sostiene, El salva, El hace proezas, El es sublime. Y asombroso es saber que en su gracia también es “Emmanuel”, Dios con nosotros.

¡El que sostiene desde un átomo hasta las galaxias está con nosotros!

¿No crees entonces que puede sostener tu mundo? ¿No crees que puede sostener tu vida? ¿No crees que puede sostener tu corazón? ¿No crees que puede vivificarte en medio de la angustia? ¿No crees que ese consuelo divino es suficiente?

Cuando las circunstancias atemorizan; cuando los procesos son dolorosos; cuando el futuro es incierto, no te concentres en lo temporal. Mejor concéntrate en Aquel que sostiene TODAS las cosas. Mejor concéntrate en el toque de Aquel que está sentado a la diestra de Dios y que ahora mismo está hablando a tu favor.

Becky

Todos los derechos reservados. Rebecca Parrilla April/2015.

 

Translation - Management of Distress (Part 4) - His Right Hand

This Bible reflection is about my ultrasound-guided liver biopsy. That same day I got the implanted port, the device that provides IV access for chemotherapy.

It was the morning of the liver biopsy. The doctor came in to explain the procedure and the nurse assigned to me that morning also followed. While the doctor prepared the area to be biopsied, the nurse started touching gently and rhythmically my left arm. Then she said: "This first part may be the most difficult but don’t be afraid, it is better if you just focus on the touch of my hand." And so I did.

"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me; Thou wilt stretch forth thy hand against the wrath of mine enemies, And thy right hand will save me." (Psalm 138:7, ASV)

I love the psalmist’s confidence. For him, being in distress only means one thing: the chance to be revived by the Lord. The word “revive” also may be translated as to “sustain life”, to “be alive” or to “be quickened” from sickness, discouragement, faintness or death itself. Then the psalmist refers to the right hand of the Lord. There are many verses in the Bible that refer to the right hand of the Lord:

Psalm 18:35 - the right hand of the Lord sustains

"You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great"

Psalm 20: 6 - the right hand of the Lord is able to save
 

"Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; he will answer him from his holy heaven with the saving might of his right hand"
 

Psalm 118: 15 - the right hand of the Lord is skillful and efficient

"... The right hand of the Lord does valiantly"

Psalm 118: 16 - the right hand of the Lord exalts
 

And we need to remember that Jesus is at that at the right hand of God. Although he was God, he humbled himself to save us. And after his death and victory at the Cross he was highly exalted and now has all power and dominion. What does Jesus do at the right hand of God?

1. Interceding for us. He is not disengaged from our affairs. He is our advocate, who speak on our behalf. (Romans 8:34, 1 John 2: 1)

2. In charge of running the universe. Nothing exempt from his rule (Ephesians 1: 20-22)
3. Upholding the universe by the word of his power. (Hebrews 1: 3)

Every reference to the “right hand of the Lord” in the Old Testament applies to Jesus. He sustains, He saves, He does valiantly, He exalts. And by grace he also is “Immanuel”, God is with us. The One upholding the universe, from atoms to galaxies, is with us!!!
 

Don’t you think he can hold your world? Don’t you think he can sustain your life? Don’t you think he can revive you in the midst of trouble? Don’t you think his comfort is sweet and more than enough? When circumstances are frightful; when processes are painful; when the future is uncertain, do not focus on the here and now. Focus instead on the One who holds ALL things. Focus instead on the One who is at the right hand of God, highly exalted and speaking on your behalf.

Becky

 All rights reserved. Rebecca Parrilla April/2015

2nd Chemo Photo Post

 

April 9, 2015

Becky and Fernan
Mi esposo y acompañante favorito
My husband and favorite chemo buddy

Mi cumpleaños fue hace dos semanas. Los compañeros de clase de mi hija enviaron tarjetas de felicitaciones. Uno de ellos dibujó una mujer caminando sobre un arcoiris. Mi hija me dijo: "Mamá esa eres tú, caminando sobre la promesa"

My bday was 2 weeks ago and my daughter's classmates sent bday cards. One of them made this drawing of a woman walking over a rainbow. My daughter explained: "Mom, this is you, walking in the promise".

Dios nos ha bendecido con una familia maravillosa, pero también nos ha regalado amigos y hermanos(as) en Cristo que son maravillosos. Es cierto que Dios nos ama por medio de otros. Gracias a todos por ser unos canales de bendición increíbles. Eternamente agradecidos.

We have been blessed with an awesome family, but we also have wonderful friends and brothers and sisters in Christ.  It is true that God loves us through others. Thanks for being amazing channels of God's love and grace!! Forever grateful!


 

Translation - Management of Distress (Part 3) - The Anguish Table

This Bible reflection is about the appointment with the oncologist to discuss the results of the PET/CT scan.

- "The PET/CT scan showed some lesions in your liver," said the oncologist.
- "What does that mean? Do I have a tumor? Did the cancer spread to the liver?" I asked quickly.
- "It means that your liver needs to be biopsied" she replied.

I looked at my husband Fernan, I touched my belly ... a needle in my liver !!!

- "What happens if the cancer has spread to the liver?" I asked.
- "We identify a treatment plan for that. It is not curable, but it is treatable” she said.
- "For how long I would need to be treated?" I continued asking
- "Indefinitely" she said
- "Like…forever!!" I thought out loud
- "For “as long as it works”, that sounds better", she answered.

I breathed deeply, I do not like the word "indefinitely".

"When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall." (Psalm 27: 2)

 

Often, in difficult situations we feel as the main course of a meal. The guests at the “Anguish Table” are:

• “Evil” – that intended to hurt  
• “Enemies” – that intended to oppress you
• “Foes” - an enemy or opponent (physical, spiritual or emotional)

But there is great hope in knowing that the Lord is our light and salvation. The Lord is our fortress, who protects us from danger. When anguish wants to include us in the menu as the main course, her plans get ruined. Not because we are strong, not because we are brave, not because we are self-sufficient. But because we are those who can say: "The Lord is my light", a light that never goes out. We are those who cry out: "He is the Lord of our salvation". A salvation purchased on Calvary’s tree and secured from any disease. And instead of the main dish on the “Anguish Table”, we become guests at the “Good Shepherd Table”

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life... "(Psalm 23: 5-6, NIV)


We are guests at the Good Shepherd’s table because of Christ's sacrifice. We were enemies. We were not worthy of a place at the table. But now we are welcome and when God prepares the table the anguish is hungry and we are satisfied. There are no distractions, there is no fear, there is joy in the presence of the Lord. At the Good Shepherd’s table the word "indefinitely" loses its power and authority. The word “indefinitely” is not defined by a treatment or a disease. It is not about the anguish or the pain; nor about the loss or the uncertainty. Psalm 23 states that it is His goodness and mercy that follow us all the days of our life. It is God’s constant kindness; it is a brand new mercy every morning.

I don’t know what situation is inviting you to the “Anguish Table” today. I just know that there’s a place for you at the “Good Shepherd’s Table”.

Becky

 

All rights reserved. Rebecca Parrilla April/2015 

Meditaciones de Fe - Manejo de la Angustia (Parte 3) - La Mesa de la Angustia

Esta reflexión es acerca de mi visita al oncólogo para discutir los resultados del  "PET/CT scan". Era principios de marzo 2015 y esa semana nevó otra vez.

La Mesa de la Angustia

- "El estudio reveló unas lesiones en su hígado", dijo la oncólogo.

- "¿Qué significa eso? ¿Tengo un tumor? ¿También tengo cáncer en el hígado?", pregunté rápidamente.

- "Significa que hay que biopsiar", respondió.

Miré a mi esposo Fernan, me toqué el vientre...¡¡¡una aguja en mi hígado!!!

-"¿Qué pasa si está en mi hígado?", pregunté.

-"Buscamos un plan para tratarla, no curarla, tratarla", enfatizó.

-"¿Por cuánto tiempo?"

-"Indefinidamente", me dijo

-"¿Por siempre?", pensé en voz alta

-"Es mejor decir que mientras funcione", me miró a los ojos.

 Respiré profundo, no me gusta la palabra "indefinidamente".

 

“Cuando se juntaron contra mí los malignos, mis angustiadores y mis enemigos, Para comer mis carnes, ellos tropezaron y cayeron.” (Salmo 27:2)
Muchas veces en medio de situaciones límites nos sentimos así, como el plato principal de una cena. Y allí están sentados y hambrientos:

• Malignos – lo que hace mal, lo que hiere o rompe en pedazos
• Angustiadores – lo que oprime
• Enemigo – cualquier adversario personal (físico, espiritual o emocional)

Pero la gran esperanza que tenemos es que el Señor es luz y salvación. El Señor es la fortaleza de nuestra vida. Cuando la angustia quiere incluirnos en el menú como plato principal, se le arruinan los planes. No porque seamos fuertes, no porque seamos valientes, no porque seamos autosuficientes. Sino porque somos de los que podemos decir: “El Señor es mi luz”, una luz que no se apaga. Somos los que gritamos: “La salvación es del Señor”. Una salvación que compraron a precio de sangre en el Calvario y que la enfermedad no puede dañar. Y en vez de plato principal en la mesa de la angustia, nos convertimos en invitados de la mesa del Buen Pastor.

“Aderezas mesa delante de mí en presencia de mis angustiadores;
Unges mi cabeza con aceite; mi copa está rebosando. Ciertamente el bien y la misericordia me seguirán todos los días de mi vida…” (Salmo 23:5-6)

Estamos sentados en la mesa del Señor porque el sacrificio de Cristo nos ganó un lugar. Eramos enemigos. No eramos dignos de un lugar en la mesa. Pero por la Cruz de Cristo ahora somos bienvenidos. Y en la mesa del Señor la angustia se queda con hambre y nosotros somos saciados. No hay distracciones, no hay temor. Hay plenitud en la presencia del Señor que nos invita. En esa mesa la palabra “indefinidamente” pierde su poder y autoridad. Porque lo que en verdad ocurre indefinidamente no es un tratamiento, no es la enfermedad, no es la angustia, no es el dolor, no es la pérdida. Es que el bien y la misericordia nos seguirán todos los días de nuestra vida. Esa es la promesa del Señor. Una bondad constante. Una misericordia que es nueva cada mañana.

No sé qué situación te quiere llevar como “plato principal” a la mesa de la angustia en el día de hoy. Sólo sé que ahora mismo hay un manjar servido y un lugar para ti en la mesa del Buen Pastor.

Becky
Todos los derechos reservados.  Becky Parrilla April/2015

Translation - And my hair is gone

What can I say? This is like giving birth. You can read books, watch videos and listen what others have to say. But you really don’t know how you'll feel or what your experience will be until you actually live it.

I did not challenge this process of losing my hair. The surgeon and the oncologist warned me that this was a side effect of my chemo regimen. My biggest concern was my 8 years old daughter. For her having cancer and losing the hair meant that something was very very wrong. So we had to explain that it was just the effect of the medicine that was intended to treat the disease.

It's amazing how the hair starts falling out (and I've had some "bad hair days" with chemicals but nothing like this). In late February I had a pre-chemo haircut. Approximately, two weeks after the first treatment, my scalp was very sore and tender. In just a couple of days, big chunks of hair started falling out and I decided to have the “big chop”. What did I feel? I felt relief, because my scalp feels much better since then.

The support of my family has been very important. My mom gave me extra TLC and words of encouragement. My husband is fulfilling very faithfully with that part of the marriage covenant that states "in sickness and in health" (including the fine print at the end specifying baldness and other restrictions). My daughter has made me laugh. She wanted to count every strand of hair falling out. When she learned that the “big chop” was coming she said "Well, as long as your head doesn’t fall out we're good."…fair enough.

When I had the haircut, my 4  years old boy who has special needs and a global developmental delay, looked at me, said his eloquent “bah bah” (he is non-verbal), put his little hands on my face and smiled. There is nothing more sincere than that.

What I’m learning from this part of the process?

1. Greater respect for the way each person handles this situation. Some cry, others fight, others get depressed, and others just take it more lightly. But that does not make us better or worse people, it just makes us humans.

2. Greater consideration by those who face physical changes due to cancer and other chronic diseases.

3. Greater conviction that our value and beauty are not limited to our physical appearance. The people close to our hearts know it well. And the One who loves us the most and gave his life for us, knows it very well.

4. That even hair loss is under the sovereignty of God. "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows" (Luke 12: 6-7 NIV)

Becky

 

©Rebecca Parrilla Copyright 2015

Translation - Management of Distress (Part 2) - Breathe as if you were singing

This Bible reflection is about my PET / CT scan appointment to determine the stage of my cancer.

"Please, breathe naturally". Why do they always say that? What is the first thing that happens when someone tells you “breathe naturally”? Well, you just stop doing it. There I was in that machine that was looking if the cancer has spread to other parts of my body. And I was trying so hard not to focus on my breathing. But the more I tried, the more difficult it was...less natural, less rhythmic. Then I remembered ... deep breathing, diaphragm ... I could breathe as when I’m singing. I started singing in my mind and I breathed "singing"...

Jesus in the midst of his anguish on the Cross expressed words of a song. Matthew 27:45-46 states:  "From noon on, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. And about three o’clock Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” This expression comes from Psalm 22 which is a cry of distress (verses 1-21) and a song of praise (verses 22-31)?
 

Before, we must explain that no human being ever experienced or will experience the level of distress that Jesus suffered. While it is true that death by crucifixion was a cruel and agonizing way, the anguish of Jesus transcended physical torture. Jesus suffered as our substitute. The full weight of the wrath of God for my sin, for your sin, was on Jesus.
 

The human cry of anguish actually comes from our unbelief, our fears, our limited understanding of things. "I can’t feel" God’s presence. "It seems" that he has abandoned me. "It makes no sense" that a loving God allowed something like this to happen. But this "abandonment" is always apparent. It is always our perception. The cross ensures that through the merits of Jesus, God will never turn His gaze away from us. He will never forsake us. That even in the darkest moments of the soul, communion with God is possible and feasible thanks to Jesus.

Returning to Psalm 22, this is a prophetic psalm fulfilled by Jesus on the cross (see verses 14, 15 and 18). And the last verses, give us the psalmist’s vision of what comes after the anguish:

Verse 22 - someday I'll have a story to tell that will make others praise God.

Verse 24 - God has been right there, listening.

Verse 25 - I have discovered a life of praise and commitment. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord.

Verse 27-31 - I can see a future of glory. Nations will praise the Lord. Families will come and worship. The Lord reigns.

When you can’t breathe in the midst of your troubles, praise the Lord and “breathe as if you were singing”. You’ll have a testimony; God always listens; you will live a life of praise and commitment; one day every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord. "Hallelujah”

 

©Rebecca Parrilla Copyright 2015